Briefly Important: PEOPLE…

I hate small talk.

I am famous for hating small talk. I know you five minutes and I am asking you deeply uncomfortable questions just to keep myself entertained. Why? Because most people are …well they are just not that motherfucking interesting. Myself included probably. Even though I’m special and better than everybody else of course.

Especially at the office or social gatherings with people you only hang out with if you’re brought together by someones birthday or a higher force. You find yourself standing face to face with 1 and 2 (I will call these people by numbers for this context, because they are just as irrelevant and forgettable) when it just…starts

“Oh how are you today”

“Good, you?”

“Good”

…

…

…

“So…what did you do on the weekend?”

“Oh I just stayed home and cleaned the house”

“Cool…did you do a spring clean?”

“No…no just a regular clean”

“Ah”

…

…

I hope this hurt!!!!

I really do hope this hurt, because there is nothing that burns my insides faster than this fucking bullshit. If it didn’t hurt and you find yourself thinking “well…what’s the problem with that”, then YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

And I’m a person that tries to keep a conversation alive, even though it’s been dead before it has even started. It’s like mouth to mouth with one-week-old roadkill. I usually overshare, tell stories, try to make things funnier, talk way too much... And it drains me. It makes we want to pee myself just to have a valid reason to leave this abominating conversation. It’s the reason I don’t enjoy going out with people. It’s the reason I have very few friends and I am NOT complaining. I would like to keep it that way.

I think that’s my thoughts. Don’t talk to me unless…actually just don’t. I can’t I just can’t!