Briefly Important: Health or The Booty?

It’s the age old question that has riled up philosophers, big thinkers, mathematicians and common folk alike. Because as Shakespear’s Hamlet FAMOUSLY used to say:

“To be shredded like an absolute monster, or to have an adequate amount of cholesterol…THAT is the question".

One can argue that you can have both. That is, however, not why I’m writing this here. Do you actually think I’m sitting down fucking tippy tiping away at my laptop to ask a question that has already been answered?

NO

Here’s my argument: Working out and eating healthy is clearly great. To be healthy and have your doctor give a standing ovation reviewing your bloodwork is arguably achieved by a lot less effort than to be godlessly yoked.

My question is: Is wanting to be hot enough motivator to commit to a fitness routine for the rest of your life?

Building muscle and then maintaining that muscle is TOUGH. You know how many chickens have to die in order for you to keep them thighs rubbing together?

You know how many heavy things you need to pick up, put down, pick up again and put down over and over in order to grow those thighs to touching capacity???

My problem is: going to the gym isn’t fun enough for me…so I have a hard time sticking to it. On the one hand. On the OTHER hand I would really like my jeans to not fit, because of my massive squat-fed ass. It’s a nightmare!

I’m now trying to discover forms of exercise that serve my entertainment but are also bad for my jeans. Wish me luck!

But do you feel me? Does hotness keep you going to the gym and will keep you going there for the rest of your life? The REST of your LIFE. That’s so much rest. It’s so much leftover life holy shit. Or do we have to come to terms eternally switching between looking like an ancient marble statue and looking like a person shaped from soft, somewhat warm yeast dough?

It’s a tough life.